July 22, 2008
Fruit Salad Instructions
When I eat fruit salad, I eat the pieces of fruit in order of height. Whichever piece is highest in the bowl, I eat first. Then the second highest, and so on. Sometimes pieces shift and change order as I'm eating. That's okay.
May 16, 2007
You Can't Go Wrong with G4
As I was heating my mattar paneer in the lunch room, a couple of guys that were doing construction work on our floor went up to the vending machine. One of the guys put some money in it. After staring at it for a while, the other guy said, "You can't go wrong with G4."
After they left, I went up to the vending machine to find out what G4 was. It was a roll of Lifesavers.
April 20, 2007
It's a Bird!
I don't think that Superman would have as much respect if he had to flap his arms to fly.
January 27, 2007
I saw the word "imaginary" today and thought that it was made up.
December 12, 2006
"Pierce eye, drain milk, tap along groove, remove flesh, enjoy!"
Label on a coconut.
November 09, 2006
I think french fries are my favorite food.
September 27, 2006
Leek Spin describes a portion of my soul.
September 26, 2006
Mars Needs Women
The name "Marian" isn't too far from the word "Martian".
April 03, 2006
New drink idea. Sounds disgusting, but it has a great name.
1 shot Goldschläger
1 shot Jägermeister
April 02, 2006
That's how knowing begins -- guessing correctly.
December 22, 2005
If you ever get an email from me with a subject line that says, "IMPORTANT! READ RIGHT AWAY! (Ignore any other instructions I've given you on my web site, especially about not reading this and/or deleting it)", please just delete it without reading it. Thank you.
October 31, 2005
Today I dressed up as uncooked, unprocessed Soylent Green.
Today's Carpool Commute
Smooth jazz, rough driver.
May 16, 2005
Is the Washington Monument an obelisk?
April 12, 2005
I probably misheard this, but I could have sworn I heard someone say, "Fish don't worry." You know what would be great? www.fishdontworry.com. It's available. Go get it.
March 15, 2005
I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at the clock. It said 4:04. My first thought was that it was an error message:
404 - Time not found
March 03, 2005
Last week in the carpool, a woman asked what day it was. When we told her Wednesday, she quietly said, "Oh, Hump Day." She said it as if the phrase "Hump Day" had more significance in her day-to-day life than the word "Wednesday".
January 20, 2005
When I see something written in French, saying it out loud often helps me to understand it.
January 06, 2005
My hair is getting so long that I actually felt it move as I walked.
December 09, 2004
I thought I saw a bumper sticker on a car that said, "FREE TACO". But it probably didn't really say that.