July 22, 2008

Fruit Salad Instructions

When I eat fruit salad, I eat the pieces of fruit in order of height. Whichever piece is highest in the bowl, I eat first. Then the second highest, and so on. Sometimes pieces shift and change order as I'm eating. That's okay.

Posted at 09:52 AM | Comments ()

May 16, 2007

You Can't Go Wrong with G4

As I was heating my mattar paneer in the lunch room, a couple of guys that were doing construction work on our floor went up to the vending machine. One of the guys put some money in it. After staring at it for a while, the other guy said, "You can't go wrong with G4."

After they left, I went up to the vending machine to find out what G4 was. It was a roll of Lifesavers.

Posted at 01:05 PM | Comments (2)

April 20, 2007

It's a Bird!

I don't think that Superman would have as much respect if he had to flap his arms to fly.

Posted at 09:25 AM | Comments (2)

January 27, 2007


I saw the word "imaginary" today and thought that it was made up.

Posted at 04:20 PM | Comments (1)

December 12, 2006

Invasive Procedure

"Pierce eye, drain milk, tap along groove, remove flesh, enjoy!"

Label on a coconut.

Posted at 04:25 PM | Comments (1)

November 09, 2006


I think french fries are my favorite food.

Posted at 12:46 PM | Comments (2)

September 27, 2006

Leek Spin

Leek Spin describes a portion of my soul.

Posted at 10:53 AM | Comments (2)

September 26, 2006

Mars Needs Women

The name "Marian" isn't too far from the word "Martian".

Posted at 09:43 AM | Comments (1)

April 03, 2006


New drink idea. Sounds disgusting, but it has a great name.

1 shot Goldschläger
1 shot Jägermeister

Posted at 08:26 PM | Comments (2)

April 02, 2006

Quote Me

That's how knowing begins -- guessing correctly.

Posted at 06:19 PM | Comments ()

December 22, 2005


If you ever get an email from me with a subject line that says, "IMPORTANT! READ RIGHT AWAY! (Ignore any other instructions I've given you on my web site, especially about not reading this and/or deleting it)", please just delete it without reading it. Thank you.

Posted at 10:00 AM | Comments (1)

October 31, 2005


Today I dressed up as uncooked, unprocessed Soylent Green.

Posted at 05:00 PM | Comments ()

Today's Carpool Commute

Smooth jazz, rough driver.


Posted at 10:21 AM | Comments (1)

May 16, 2005

Is the Washington Monument an obelisk?

Posted at 02:06 PM | Comments (1)

April 12, 2005

Happy Fish

I probably misheard this, but I could have sworn I heard someone say, "Fish don't worry." You know what would be great? www.fishdontworry.com. It's available. Go get it.

Posted at 12:33 PM | Comments (2)

March 15, 2005

I woke up in the middle of the night and looked at the clock. It said 4:04. My first thought was that it was an error message:

404 - Time not found

Posted at 06:14 PM | Comments (1)

March 03, 2005

Hump Day

Last week in the carpool, a woman asked what day it was. When we told her Wednesday, she quietly said, "Oh, Hump Day." She said it as if the phrase "Hump Day" had more significance in her day-to-day life than the word "Wednesday".

Posted at 03:54 PM | Comments (1)

January 20, 2005


When I see something written in French, saying it out loud often helps me to understand it.

Posted at 10:09 AM | Comments ()

January 06, 2005

Long Hair

My hair is getting so long that I actually felt it move as I walked.

Posted at 10:38 AM | Comments (2)

December 09, 2004

Free Taco!

I thought I saw a bumper sticker on a car that said, "FREE TACO". But it probably didn't really say that.

Posted at 09:13 PM | Comments ()