July 03, 2007
President "Getting In To" Executive Privilege
WASHINGTON, DC (AP) -- Late Monday night, claiming executive privilege, President Bush ordered that the heads of the twelve jurors in the Lewis "Scooter" Libby trial be brought to him on silver platters. Early this morning, the heads were seen on wooden stakes on the White House front lawn. During a brief press statement at 9:00 am, President Bush said, "They were warned... I mean, had they been warned, they would have known that returning a guilty verdict in this trial was just plain stupid."
In the past week, President Bush has cited executive privilege for numerous reasons ranging from requiring Nancy Pelosi to cut the crusts off of his sandwiches to changing Iraq's name to "Americaraq".
Asked if he is nervous about punishment for crimes he may be committing, the president stated, "It's not a problem. I'll just commute my own sentence. I don't know why they didn't tell me about this executive privilege thing during my first term."
Posted at July 3, 2007 09:01 AM